By my bed, the nightstand table has three drawers. In one, I keep some jewelry, nothing expensive, another, my underwear. In this middle drawer, it is full of scarves that belonged to my mother. There are fifteen of them plus half a dozen handkerchiefs. My favorite one has a purple frame and ivory background with bluish green vines and purple flowers in the middle. I wear it in the fall when the weather starts to turn a little chilly. I have never seen my mother wear this one. Her favorite was one with brown color and patterns of little squares and circles in meshes. She wore it with her oversized silk shirt and black pants. She had a sense of style.
In an old picture of hers, she wore a yellow silk scarf around her hair standing by her motorcycle with me about five years old on the backseat. That scarf is still here in perfectly good condition. It has a classic print of brown fractal like flowers and leaves pattern. She was beautiful, slender and tall in the picture.
I showed the scarves to my daughter one time. She was all bright eyed and giggled with excitement seeing the display of such colorful tapestry. She put them on one at a time, marveling at this new experience. I watched her and saw myself when I was much older than she is now but still a child going through my mother's drawers in the closet finding treasures like these scarves, her jewelry and other novelties or keepsakes she tucked away in there. I remember the yellow scarf and another red one with similar pattern that were there for the longest time. Her scarves collection began to grow when her friends in their mid-life started to travel abroad and brought back scarves for her as souvenirs. She did not get to travel until I came to the states to study. Then, she came to visit me and to see how I was doing.
I hardly use handkerchiefs but my mother did. She used not those embroiled ones she tucked away but cotton ones. She sweated a lot. She was overweight. She gained weight because there was no outlet for her when she reached middle age. Eating was probably her way of dealing with depression, anxiety and all the other issues life dealt her with.
There is this one scarf, smaller in size than the rest with one hand painted flower at one corner. It is perfect for my daughter. I could not wait to put it on her. Last winter, when she was not yet two year old, I had her wear it when we went to the stores. Somewhere in the store, she probably felt warm and took out the scarf and lost it. I found out only before we were ready to leave the store. We retraced our steps all over the store trying to recover it. I was near tear when we could not find it. I really did not want to lose anything of mother's anymore. Finally, I went to the clerks and asked them had someone found a scarf and left it with them? There it was, the scarf, one of the few tangible memories of my mother, on the table behind the store register counter.
My daughter takes after her father though some of my friends did say she reminds them of my mother. "The continuation of life" as a friend of mine put it, that is what they saw in my daughter. She has my mother's spirit. She probably will have my mother's sense of style as she fashioned different things as hats and scarves in play. In time, she will have this drawer full of scarves.
Fresh Ways with Shiitake MushroomsI loved Shiitake mushrooms when they were found mostly dry on the shelves of Asian food specialty store. You can image my delight to find them fresh in the farmer's market. They used to cost 10 dollars per pound but this year, I found them only half the price they used to cost and in abundance in the farmer's market. I cook them in almost every kind of dish, soup, stir fry, fry rice and noodles. The fresh ones exude even lovelier aroma than their dry counterpart and they keep pretty well in a brown bag in the drawers of the refrigerator. If you haven't discover them. Try the following recipes and you'll be hooked too.
Stewed Chicken Soup with Shiitake Mushrooms
1 Cornish game hen
10 ears of fresh Shiitake mushrooms
2 slices of ginger
10 cups of water
2 teasps of salt
Clean chicken, remove excessive fat if so desired. Put all ingredients together in a big pot. Bring soup to boil. Reduce heat and simmer for about 20 minutes. You will know when it is done when the aroma of the Shiitake mushrooms permeates into the air from your kitchen stove top and beckons you to fill up a bowl of good old chicken soup.
Stir-fry Udon with Veggies and Shiitake
1 tblsp of cooking oil
1/2 cup onion strips
1 egg
1/2 cup of fresh Shiitake mushrooms
1/2 cup of bok choy cut into strips
1/4 cup of carrot strips
1 cup of water
2 cups of udon
1 tblsp of cooking wine
1 tblsp of soy sauce
salt and pepper to taste
Heat cooking oil and brown onion strips, add egg and stir till egg mixture nicely scrambled. Add vegetables, wine and soy sauce, stir till veggies are tender. Add water and bring to boil, add udon, reduce heat and simmer till liquid is mostly absorbed by udon. Serve warm.
Sauté Shiitake and Snow Peas
1 cup of fresh Shiitake mushrooms strips
1 cup of snow peas
2 cloves of garlic
1 tblsp of olive oil
salt and pepper to taste
Heat oil and, lightly sauté mushrooms, add snow peas and stir for another 30 seconds. Add salt and pepper. Serve warm or cold.
Tofu, Shiitake, Green Peas and Carrots Thick Soup
1/2 cup of tofu cubes
1/2 cup of fresh Shiitake strips
1 cup of peas and carrots
1/4 cup of chopped scallions
3 cups of water
1 cup chicken broth
1/4 cup corn starch water
salt and pepper to taste
Bring water, broth, tofu and mushrooms to boil, simmer for ten minutes, Add carrots and peas, simmer for another ten minutes. Add salt and pepper. Add corn starch water. Stir till soup thickens. Turn off heat, sprinkle on scallions and serve.
Stir-fry Sticky Rice
3 cups of cooked sticky rice
2 tblsp of soy sauce
2 tblsp of cooking oil
1/2 cup of chopped shallots
1/2 cup of fresh Shiitake strips
1/4 cup of lean pork strips
Heat oil, brown shallot bits. Add pork strips, stir till pork is done. Add Shiitake, stir till tender. Add rice and soy sauce, stir till rice is well mixed with other ingredients and coated with soy sauce. Serve warm or cold.
Feeding the Terrible Two
"Samantha, try some vegetables."
"No."
"Try some Chicken."
"No."
"Fish?"
"No."
"Apples?"
"No."
About the only things my two and a half year old does not say no to are milk, cheese, juice and noodles. If only I could let her grow up on those things. She probably could live and strive on them but I could not let her. I want her to eat spinach and carrots, whole grains and protein. I want her to eat not just store bought food out of a carton or plastic wrap but my cooking. I guess I brought the frustration upon myself. It is hard enough to be a good cook, harder even to please a two year old.
One day, I scrambled some eggs with scallions and she liked it. The next day I tried scrambled eggs with spinach, she hated it. One afternoon I made oatmeal raisin cookie treats. She munched on them with satisfaction. The next morning, I make oatmeal raisin hot cereal. She hardly opened her mouth. Macaroni and cheese is fine with her but not macaroni and cheese and carrots and peas. Carrot cakes are welcomed. What about carrot meatloaf? Well, maybe two spoonfuls. She'd snatch an Eggo waffle because it looks just like a "tubbie toast." What about those potato pancake Mommy made? I made them just like "tubbie toasts", too. "What's that?" she looked at them suspiciously.
A meal is not a meal without noodles, no matter how many dishes are on the table and how well balanced you plan the meal to be. Her dad and I, we used to have rice almost every day. Now we have rice probably once a week. I cooked her udon, spaghettis, chow-mien, and noodle soups. I made them with carrots, bok choy, tofu, and meat. She picked the veggies, tofu and meat aside and ate only the stringy refined carbohydrates. I am not that easily discouraged. The day she's born, I had promised myself, "I am in this for the long haul no matter how hard it is." I cooked her vegetables every day until one day she started to show interests in the sweet and sour cabbages. Another day, she ate some broccoli and tofu cooked with miso. Today she had potato, carrots and peas salad for lunch. Slowly but surely she had expanded her choices of food.
"Yummy," she said when she had ice cream one day. "Yummy," and wide-eyed when she tasted chocolate for the first time. French-fries needed no introduction, either, she already dipped them with some ketchup like a pro. Mommy's cooking so far hasn't got the "yummy" rating. Well, I cannot compete with the sugar, cocoa, starch and fat craze. Even I cannot resist the temptation of ice cream, chocolates and fries. But I'll keep cooking her my carrot meat loaf, sweet and sour cabbage and miso soup. One day when she's grown and out of the nest on her own, maybe she will miss mommy's home cooking and crave for the carrot meat loaf, sweet and sour cabbage and miso soup. She'll probably say those were yummy then.
Samantha Goes to PreschoolSamantha, my two and a half year old, is enrolled in a summer preschool program. I am counting the days to the start of her first school day, not at all in anticipation of what a new experience this could be for her. I am tormented by doubts and fear: Am I pushing her into something she is not ready for? Did I make the decision solely to serve my own interest, that I can have two hours free time to myself twice a week? The director of the school had reassured me that she is ready. It is not fair to think that the director would make such evaluation only because she stands to gain monetarily. After all, it is because of her professionalism that I chose her school and hers is a popular school. She could easily fill our spot with candidates on the long waiting list. Still my emotion debates with my reason.
My head says Samantha needs to play with her peers. My heart says she's only two years old. My head says she needs to learn how to interact with others. My heart says she's only a baby. I am afraid once she goes to school she'll grow up too fast and she'll adapt to English and forget how to speak her mother tongue. We have such good rapport and bounding using our own mix of Mandarin and English. How I hate to lose that. Being an only child, she does need the school environment for her to seek out companionship and friendship of children her age. She has started showing signs and skills of socializing with her peers. She needs her own growing space. Oh, I rather cuddle her and hold her in my arms forever and ever. If only I could protect her forever and ever.
What if she does not like the school? What if she cries? I know she will cry sadly when I leave her with her teachers and playmates. I will cry even more sadly for having to do so. Bigger kids goes to the same school. What if she gets pushed by bigger kids? She is rather small in size. Being a November baby, she will be the smallest in her class for years to come unless we hold her back one year. The school provides much more input than I can give her at home. She is like a sponge soaking up information in an amazing pace. I hate to stand in the way of her development. Reluctantly, I'll just have to learn to let go.
Seventeen days till Samantha's first day at school.