Paradox Blog

It's hard to find a baby-sitter. It's hard to find the one you like and trust. I heard about people hunting for a house in a certain area so that they can be near the baby sitter they found for their children. They would not even consider finding another baby sitter because they have tried so many different ones before they came across the one they can really trust. We had someone helping us with our baby right after she was born. The helper was helpful since we had no clue at all about taking care of a baby. She showed us how to bathe the baby, helped setting up the nursing room and provided the needed extra hands when I was too tired to attend to my baby's need. She sounded perfect but it didn't work out. I admit I was picky. She was a live-in and had the room closest to the baby's room. At night, when the baby started crying, I was the first one to jump up and sprinted to the baby's side. Besides, she snores, talks more than she does and charges expensive fees. No one can replace mom for sure. No one will be as attentive to your baby as you are. There is no compromise when it comes to your baby.

"Looking for live-in's to take care of two year old. Five days a week. Modest house work." "Day time in-house care for two toddlers. Must provide own transportation." "Part-time help to pick up and look after 7 year old after school from 3pm to 7pm. Help with cooking expected." These are just a few of the ads in the newspaper by career moms looking for the perfect help. Many others send their babies and toddlers to a day-care. Even a full-time mom like me sometimes needs a break and I would be looking for "temporary relieve, a couple of hours a day" so that I can run errands or catch up with house work. Here is an idea of a business if someone can pull enough resource in a pool to cover the different needs of different moms. If only it was that simple.

There are enough people out there looking for baby-sitting work. A full time baby sitter ad gets about fifty responses and a part time ad gets about twenty. There is no shortage of workers but short of quality work. It is tough work. Babies cannot be reasoned. They make demands that only a mother can tolerate. You wouldn't want to work for a boss like that. Out of the tens of applicants for a baby-sitting job you are looking for one who really knows what she is getting into. You will be surprised how many people have no clue. Some need the money. Some need a change of environment. Some need to get out of the boredom they are in. These are reasons that draw sympathy but you wouldn't trust your babies in their hands. The young and restless have no experience. The old and experienced have no energy. Taking care of your little monster requires the patience of a Zen Buddhist and the tenacity of a decathlete.

I would love to swap baby-sitting times with other moms but there aren't any new mom like me in my neighborhood. It could work out among my friends. Quite a few of them have young kids and a couple more are expecting. The drawback is we have to drive some distance to get to one another. For the time being, my baby goes wherever I go. She's on my back when I am cooking and cleaning. She hangs to my chest when I am grocery shopping. When she's in a cooperating mood, she plays in her own baby carrier with me in her sight. She's right outside the bathroom door when I have to answer the nature's call and she only gives me five seconds before she starts to complain. As much as I wished I could clone myself I realized these are the times to remember and treasure. Pretty soon she'll be all grown up and have her own world to explore. Mom can only be on the sideline, admiring, worrying and reminiscent about how she does not need me anymore.