Paradox Blog

It's your very first birthday. It has been a year full of surprises and joy. There were dreariness and drudgeries but all of them combined cannot eclipse the love you brought out of us. That tiny face of yours, full of expression, the smile that clear up all the qualms, the laughter, resonant with glee, those mischievous glances, miniature fingers and toes, the cheeks like an apple, the eyes that sparkle, the nose, the ears, even the frowns and the quivering lips that curved up to utter the loudest complaint ever, all are beauty in our eyes. We are puppets and you hold the strings. We stoop when you tumble. We ache when you hurt. We bend when you squeak and be ever so content just to watch you grow. Our life before you had faded so much that we think of it as if it were from a previous lifetime.

For many years, your father and I debated about having children. I can hardly remember my argument against it. I thought I needed a good reason to have children until you were born. Then I realize you alone are reason enough. Watching you grow rejuvenate us. Taking care of you leave very little time for us to overly analyze things. To live that is the gift you have given us. In return, we hope to give you a safe environment to grow in, a happy childhood, the guidance you'll need, and always the love and support from your grateful parents.

I thank you for letting me experience this wholly, unconditional, sometimes selfish and overly protective love. This kind of love that's only appropriate from a mother to her child. It ends once and for all my yearning, wondering and searching of it. The attention you have given me is flattering. Your face would lit up when I walk into the room. You follow me wherever I go, show interests in everything I do and listen intensely to every sound I made. You must love me too.

Rolls and rolls of films captured your smiles, you tears, your first crawl, your first standing-up, your play time, and your sleep time. We want to record all the joy you have inspired in us. The stacks of pictures of you, however, do not do you justice. You warm our heart with your hugs, your wet kisses, or your little body slouching in our lap. It's such a comforting feeling to hold you. Our house, though messier than before, is now a home. You have become the anchor of our life.

Happy Birthday, Samantha. Your father and I wish you a healthy and happy year to come.